the darkness of bereavement

walking with grief 
-- a reading we will use for my grandfather's funeral this week

do not hurry
as you walk with grief;
it does not help the journey.

walk slowly,
pausing often:
do not hurry
as you walk with grief.


be not disturbed
by memories that come unbidden.
swiftly forgive;
and let Christ speak for you
unspoken words.
unfinished conversation
will be resolved in Him.
be not disturbed.

be gentle with the one
who walks with grief.
if it is you,
be gentle with yourself.
swiftly forgive;
walk slowly,
pausing often.

take time, be gentle
as you walk with grief.

from Celtic Daily Prayers: Prayers and Readings from the Northumbria Community, pp. 225-26 

an opportunity to share BGJ with students in 4 states!

Next week marks one of the first big opportunities for us to spread the word among college students and their campus pastors about the work we are doing and various ways we can serve them. Pray for Randy as he takes several opportunities to share with students about God's heart for justice. (He sure has been studying and working hard getting ready for this!)

Here's what his week looks like:

*He leaves for Washington DC on Monday. 

*On both Tuesday and Friday, he will be working with students at Georgetown University's Chi Alpha (his old campus ministry post) who are eager to hear more about the Bible’s message of radical reconciliation and healing for the oppressed. 

*On Tuesday night he will have the privilege of sitting on a panel for a discussion at American University on the evils of human trafficking. 

*Wednesday he will meet with colleagues and collaborators on our Biblical Global Justice project at International Justice Mission, and then return to Georgetown to participate in the students’ weekly worship service on campus. 

*Thursday, Randy will be back at American University to preach a message at the local Chi Alpha group, before heading on a retreat with students from all over Virgina, Washington DC, Maryland, and parts of West Virgina.

*Friday and Saturday he will be at the retreat mentioned above, as he has been asked to teach on Biblical Justice and spread the word about this critical new resource and its potential impact on the college campus. 

As you can see, this is quite the action packed week! Please pray for Randy’s time with students to be life giving, his opportunities to share on the resources to be meaningful, and for his rest to be enough to sustain him through this busy time. (Prayer for some quality coffee during his time is always welcome, too ;)

a book for those that want to maintain hope in the Church

Okay, seriously, I don't say this very often... especially about church-books, but this one is a good one... If you have found yourself doubting the Church and her ability to be the means by which Christ brings his kingdom on earth, read this. It might encourage you a bit. It's just a story...

Renovation of the Church

[photo from here]

I know what you're thinking... if you're like me and you've done ministry (church, para-church, whatever), you might feel "over" the newest book on how to have an awesome church, but this one is different...

*first of all, how many church books feature a picture of a pomegranate (world's greatest fruit, anyone?) on the cover?!

*but, seriously, don't be fooled by the title:
so, it's a knock off of Dallas Willard's Renovation of the Heart,
but this book actually has a foreward by Dr. Willard

*not a fan of Willard's stuff? That's okay, he's not always my fave either, but this book is down to earth and is really just a story

*it's kind of a messy story
(authentic, if you will, even though we aren't talking about food;)
and the people who tell the story are very raw about their mistakes and flaws... 

I kinda wanted to be their friends after reading it

*and a disclaimer: 1) if you are drawn to lingo like "spiritual formation"
(defined here) or "missional" (defined here) or "emerging" (defined here)
or "emergent" (the difference between emergING and emergENT found in this article) or "traditional" or "contemporary" or "simple church" (website),
they understand these things and speak to them, 

BUT

2) if the aforementioned buzz words make your roll your eyes, it's okay, these things are not listed off just to make you think the authors are "relevant." If anything, these authors raise better questions about all of these pretty words than I've heard... maybe ever.

BTW, I'm not knocking any of the concepts of the above words, just the over-use of them and seeing them used to lure people because of their recent "shiny-ness". I'm a sucker for shiny things, too -- I'm in an M.A. program for Spiritual Formation and Soul Care, for crying out loud! :) And spiritual formation is much more than a buzz word in my life, but more on that another time...

saying goodbye...

today, my grandfather left this earth. we just said goodbye to grandma last may (2011). i don't like goodbyes. i don't like change. but as i process this change in the life of my family, i'm reflecting on all the wonderful memories and lessons these two lovebirds left behind.

*grandma taught me so much about femininity. she always put effort into seeking beauty, whether it was in the way she "put her face on", dressed, decorated... 

*she taught me to appreciate a cup of tea (and teapots/teasets). a beautiful rose bud set sits on my shelf to remind me of the beauty that can be found in the warmth of sitting down with a loved one to share a cup of tea. the conversations i have had with family members over a pot of tea in grandma's kitchen are some of the most meaningful i've had

*they were a true example of love. not just gushy love, but true, loyal, fully devoted, serving love. my grandfather would be the first to admit that when they first married, he had a LOT to learn about love and commitment. but through the years, they became the picture of the "oneness" that a godly couple can be. until her last breath, my grandfather lovingly and patiently cared for her. for the last couple of decades, she was just as committed to my grandfather's sports teams as he was -- and she watched pretty much every game with him! that's the kind of love i hope for in my own marriage when we are old and gray

*they also represent the first picture i ever saw of a married couple seeking Christ together. ever since i was a little girl, i recognized their commitment to Christ, through their prayers, through regular study of Scripture, and their "life share" (small group) experience

*he showed me that it's possible for a husband to learn and become a man who loves his wife so much that he would literally give his life to caring for her when she became ill over a decade ago. he gives me hope that people can grow, character can develop, the process of becoming more like Christ can indeed be evident in this life

*they taught me the joy that can be found in the simple things -- sitting around the dinner table telling stories, camping out, playing cards, singing "down by the bay" when we're bored in the car, celebrating the gift of new life, and embracing all who found their way into their home and family as best they could

*they encouraged me in ministry since the beginning. they were my very first financial supporters. they believed in me and were faithful to pray for me and my chi alpha students. i think they were some of the most excited recipients of all of my ministry newsletters over the years. i can't remember how many times grandma dropped a card in the mail to say hello, happy valentine's day, happy easter, etc... and let me know that i was in her prayers (as were every other family member every single day, as long as i can remember)

*she became a birdwatcher in her last few years of life, as she was bed-ridden. she paid so much attention to the details of the birds, just like she did to so many other things of beauty in her life... and she appreciated them

sure, these were people who made mistakes just like every other human in this life, but these are just a few of the ways they have enriched my life. they are grandparents whom i love and will always remember.

you lived a wonderful life, wanda marlene and lynn purvis.

 

snail mail that gives me a lift...

last week, when i checked the mail, i realized that there are a few things that are mailed to me that make me LIGHT UP -- not the bills, or coupons or ads, but the information i receive regularly about my boy, Imran from Kolkata, India. i love India -- though i haven't visited Kolkata specifically, i've been to the capital New Delhi, and a few other places in the northern part of the country.

now, that's some snail mail worth smiling about! wouldn't you smile if you saw something from this child in your mail?

he has even gotten my name change down! i know some of you who know me well still have me listed somewhere as lindsay "fudenna" instead of demary. (it's not that big of a deal to me, i'm just saying, this kid's got it goin on!)

it's such a joy to be a part of Imran's life, even all the way across the world. thanks to children international for making it possible for randy and i to sow into a precious life in a place of such great need.

i could go on and on about Imran -- how smart he is, how sweet his letters are and how much he's grown since i started my relationship with him, but i'll save that for another time.

hope you get some mail that makes your day soon, too!

responsibility in business and our buying...

Some food for thought:

"We cannot speak of business without speaking of justice -- meaning that we need to speak specifically of economic justice, the justice of the marketplace, of buying and selling at fair prices. The great and passionate longing of the Old Testament prophets is that justice would flow like a mighty river, and their witness is a clear reminder that there is no righteousness without justice; indeed righteousness and justice are virtually synonymous and, further, there is no justice without economic justice.

"Thus Isaiah, for example, speaks of the emptiness of worship that is not matched by justice in the marketplace (Is. 58; Mic. 6:8), and the justice of the marketplace that is profiled here is that workers are paid a fair wage.

"What this means is that we do not enrich ourselves at the expense of others; we are committed to fair wages; we are resolved to always pay a fair price for a product or service... On both ends of the spectrum we are seeking justice, fairness and ultimately what is good for each person involved in a transaction...

"On a personal level, then, we are not asking which coffee in the supermarket is the cheapest but rather which brand of coffee represents a fair and just wage for the growers, the shippers, the suppliers and those who staff the registers in the grocery store..."

from Courage and Calling, by Gordon T. Smith (p. 154)

I don't know about you, but these words make me think much more about where I shop and how I am involved in the lives of people who grow, make, ship and sell the things I buy. May the Lord teach us to be wise and grow in discernment on how we steward the resources we have and spend.

more than awareness, she seeks prevention...

Recently, Randy and I had the privilege of meeting Sandie Morgan, MA/RN, the director of the Global Center for Women and Justice at Vanguard University. As it turns out, we attend the same church and share in a passion to see justice ensured, particular in the area of issues of women, violence and human trafficking. 

Through the Center at Vanguard, she is hosting a conference in March: Ensure Justice (March 2-3, 2012) at the Vanguard University campus. 

What we love about Sandie and the GCWJ is their three-fold value of dignity, advocacy, and responsibility as they offer education on issues, specifically in regards to human trafficking, as well as promoting the prevention of this heinous crime that runs rampant in our world today.

The stats are staggering -- of women and children in the two-thirds world being coerced into trafficking of varying sorts -- but also of the amount of victims here in the U.S.

A recent news article reminded me of this often "out of sight, out of mind" issue -- it cannot be far from our minds anymore. We must pray. We must seek to promote awareness. And as Sandie and the GCWJ contend, we must help PREVENT this issue in whatever ways we can. 

This happened literally in our backyard. Studies show that human trafficking, pornography and prostitution are undeniably linked -- where there is one issue, there inevitably will be the others. 

Take a moment to pray. Check out the Global Center's website. Register for the Ensure Justice conference. Keep a watchful eye on the vulnerable around you, not giving way to fear, but using discernment in how you teach those around you, especially young women, about their self-image, value and worth. May the plans of the evil one not prevail in snatching more vulnerable people into this terrible life of violence, bondage, and pain.

*no person is an island*

"God's will for us is not only that we should be the persons God means us to be, 

but that we should share in the work of creation and help Jesus to make us into the persons he means us to be. Always, and in all things, God's will for me is that I should shape my own destiny, work out my own salvation, forge my own eternal happiness, in the way God has planned it for me. And since no person is an island, since we all depend on one another, I cannot work out God's will in my own life unless I also consciously help other people to work out God's will in theirs. God's will, then, is our sanctification, our transformation in Christ, our deeper and fuller integration with other people. And this integration results not in the absorption and disappearance of our own personality, but in its affirmation and its perfection."

Taken from the above book, by Thomas Merton (an ancient Christian writer)

This book is another great read on discerning the will of God.

National human trafficking prevention month is this month -- thanks to President Obama!

President Barack Obama has declared this month to be national human trafficking prevention month. Wednesday, January 11 has been declared by Congress as the nataional awareness day for this unportant issue.  One sign that our president is aware of an issue so dear to God's heart...

"President Obama wrote in a Proclamation 'President Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation - a document that reaffirmed the noble goals of equality and freedom for all that lie at the heart of what it means to live in America. In the years since, we have tirelessly pursued the realization and protection of these essential principles. Yet, despite our successes, thousands of individuals living in the United States and still more abroad suffer in silence under the intolerable yoke of modern slavery.'
Here are some websites that can help you be aware and act. Polaris Project knows the signs and put the hotline number in your cell phone 1-888-373-7888. People can find out how many slaves they employ at Slavery Footprint. Faith based Communities can pray for the end of human trafficking weekly. Don’t buy any form of sex, pornography, prostitution."

Read more here.

God's will: *the reality of suffering*

*the reality of suffering*

"Habakkuk asks bold but honest questions ['Why, O God, do the righteous suffer and the wicked prosper? Why do you make me look at injustice?' Hab. 1] Here we find no pious sentimentality, no superspiritual type always wearing a happy face. Rather we find a man who would be genuinely perplexed by such lines from religious songs as 'Every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before.' For in his perspective some days with the Lord were uncertain, disturbing and dark.

"I do not believe I am oversimplifying in saying that God's answer is, 'Trust me with this one, Habakkuk; I know what I am doing.' Of course that is always God's answer to us. We are called to trust God at each point in our pilgrimage... But it is at the confusing moments, when things do not seem right or true or good, that our trust is tested. And nothing will test our faith like difficulty, especially when we do not understand the need for the pain -- when it makes no sense to us.

"There is an ancient counsel that we must keep ever before us: God works in mysterious ways -- mysterious to us, that is...

"This in itself should not surprise us, since God chose to glorify himself and bring healing to the created order through the death of his Son. The cross stands forever as a sign that God works through death, difficulty and suffering. But we are surprised. It seems as though difficulty and obstacles in our lives consistently take us off guard, leave us bewildered and certain that something has gone wrong. It may be that something is wrong. But it could also be that God allows the wrong because of his greater purposes. Habakkuk came to the sobering realization that the Assyrians, the terrible and wicked army that came against God's people, were the hand of God.

"Many contemporary Christian communities seem to embrace the basic premise that the purposes of God are simple: to make us comfortable and happy. While there is no doubt that the ultimate purpose of God is that our joy would be complete, we often confuse this to mean that God wants us to be comfortable and at ease. This notion naturally undermines the ability of Christians to discern the will of a God who works through difficulty, suffering and even failure. The bias for comfort tends to blind us to a whole dimension of God's work." 

 

(Listening to God in Times of Choice pp. 139-140)

God's will: *mutual encouragement and hope*

*mutual encouragement and hope*

"We... encourage by enjoying and blessing one another. When we delight in each other, take joy in each other, we bless, and this is a powerful means of encouraging a friend, colleague or young person. As a parent, for example, I cannot free my sons to discern for themselves unless I bless them -- delight in them quite apart from whether they fulfill my expectations. And to the extent that I do, I know that I strengthen each of them in his capacity to be his own person before God." 

( Listening to God in Times of Choice p. 137)

God's will: *husbands and wives*

*husbands and wives*

"As a general rule act only when you agree with your spouse. The two of you need to have a similar level of peace regarding the choice or decision. My wife and I believe that God will lead us together. Sometimes, of course, one of us may know the direction of God first. But if so, that one waits for the other. We do not act in such a manner that we violate each other's ability to discern and know the peace of God." 

(Listening to God in Times of Choice  p. 112)

God's will: *competition with others*

*competition with others*

"A biblical view of vocation rejects the idea that we need to be grabbing after positions or worried that if someone else gets an opportunity our career development will be stunted. We can freely accept and actually delight in the opportunities that others receive, recognizing that God in his grace, wisdom and mercy calls and provides for all. We can and must discern God's purposes for us without competing with others." 

(Listening to God in Times of Choice, p. 109)

Book Recommendation on God's Will

I've been reading this book: Listening to God in Times of Choice and found it very enlightening.

This author, Gordon T. Smith (former faculty at Regent College and lots of other fancy stuff in his bio) shared the following (and plenty more words of wisdom):

*people who free other people*

"In I Thessalonians 4:11 the apostle Paul urges us to make it our ambition to mind our own business. I have a hunch but am not able to prove empirically that discerning people free others to make their own choices -- and 'mind their own business.' It is not that they do not care and are not willing to be generous and helpful. It is merely that they free others to discern for themselves.

Some feel the need to contro others. They are happy to make other people's decisions for them. They feel they are God's gift to those around them, and they have an insatiable desire to 'help.' For some reason, though, when we fail to free others to choose well, we ourselves cannot choose well... The implication is obvious. We need to continually allow others to respond to their own conscience. Running other people's lives undermines our ability to take charge of our own lives and respond fully and freely to the will of God. A helpful rule of thumb might be 'Offer no unsolicited advice.' It is a good way to keep you focused on your own pilgrimage rather than trying to live others' lives for them." (pp. 95-96)

Neighborly Collaboration = True Community

Here at Fuller housing, one of our values is to be collaborative communities. I like this.

And today, our most recent authentic expression of that was so cute/fantastic/cool, that I couldn't help but share!

Hojin, our handy man a few doors down promised to make an outgoing mail slot (which our community has never had) and he put it up recently. Fancy schmancy, if I do say so myself.

Love it when the Body of Christ contributes their gifts, especially practical tangibles like this.

Hope for 2012

This morning, Randy and I had the privilege of attending a fine Church in downtown LA where Randy's best man, Jon Ziegler [blog found here] preached on Acts 3, teaching on radical forgiveness, healing and reconciliation.

 I found a sense of hope rising in me as we closed the service by singing "How Great is Our God." Maybe it's because as I sang that song this morning, my nephew's voice rang in my head. Most of the concerts he's put on for my family and I lately have included him singing these words:

How great is our God

Sing with me how great is our God

And all will see how great

How great is our God!

 My prayer for this year is that this hope would indeed keep rising up in my soul, all around me, and carry me and our loved ones through another year. 

May we have the hope to believe in forgiveness, to believe for healing, and to believe in reconciliation.
May this sweet child's song be a prophetic voice for the coming year.

And then there was mochi-making and more fun

Randy engaged in his first experience of making mochi. 

[Mochi: Japanese desert. 

Made with rice flour and has sweet red bean paste in the center. 

Usually steamed. 

It is covered with rice flour because it is very sticky.]

  Every year within days of completing the Christmas festivities, Grandma Sachi's sister Michi and brother-in-law Ace host the annual mochi-making party. In their garage they set up an assembly line of people to cook the rice,

divide the pounded rice into appropriate portions,

shape the mochi into balls,

  and fill prepared boxes with the finished products

We took my auntie to get her iPad2 (and she upgraded her old-school pink motorola RAZR to a smartphone -- it's about time!)... and took her to the cancer center at Stanford for some scans. My first experience being with her at any of her cancer appointments... It's bittersweet because it's such a privilege that she even allowed us to be with her

 Now that we're back in Pasadena, we're settling back in. 

We enjoyed a lovely Asian meal with our wonderful friends down the street

and we're watching Pasadena ready itself for the Rose Bowl and Parade.

Happy New Year!

A few more smatterings of thoughts from the holidays... (part II)

There was a slight scare as we experienced 82-year-old Grandma Sachi take a tumble on Christmas Eve. Thankfully, she fell "gracefully" and ended up with only a black eye and sore knee. Needless to say, we are a little worried at what could happen when she's home alone. This was the scene (and cause) of the crime -- setting up our Christmas Eve dinner table:

There was a walk down the street to the mini candy cane lane of Christmas lights and boxes of Christmas characters...


But, this was the first Christmas without Grandma Purvis and I missed her cheery Christmas spirit and her yearly denim Christmas blouse. Instead of going to her house Christmas morning, we enjoyed having Grandpa join in the Christmas fun at Grandma Sachi's...

Above is the annual stocking shrine that is erected on Grandma's mantle (there IS a fireplace back there, you just can't see it)

And there was more cousin bonding time (the matching haircut dudes above)

and the little girls trying to be cool like Holly (below)

A smattering of thoughts from the holidays through pictures... (part I)

  Randy and I were determined to walk as much as possible on this trip, so we started by a walk in Prunedale and found this:

As is our custom, we made a necessary coffee stop in Santa Cruz at the newly opened Verve Warehouse:

Here, I enjoyed the best latte I've EVER had in my life... and I've had my fair share of lattes!

Had lots of time to play with my nieces and nephews... priceless moments were shared

   


 
 

 We started a new Fudenna family tradition... Grandma Terry told the Christmas story to the kiddos with a plastic nativity set, except she couldn't find Mary. Her starting line was, "So, whose mother was Jesus?" And all the adults busted up laughing... It wasn't until after the kids went to bed that Grandma Terry found Mary... in her lap.

For the first time ever, my immediate family engaged in a silly sock exchange. Examples: alligator socks (complete with the shaft resembling the alligator mouth and teeth eating its way up the leg), coi fish socks (think alligator sock style), the flash socks, penguin toe socks decked with poms, and much more...

 We learned about "Elf on the Shelf", complete with reading the book and seeing my sister stare him down

Jordan gave us a mini concert with Kameron's new guitar:

The baby of the family, Kaden, got Mack and a new Lightening McQueen...

 

And we drank more coffee (duh).