Today, my family gathers in Salinas, CA to celebrate the life of my uncle, lovingly known as "Unca" John.
Since I'm 9+ months pregnant, I celebrate with them from LA, though it hardly feels adequate... Clearly, I am unable to travel at this point, so I have kept up with details of the memorial and have tried to be as involved as possible over the phone.
I woke up this morning to find an email from my sister. At one point, she was possibly taking the role of sharing the eulogy, so she shared her draft with me and other family members. Her words were beautiful and captured so well who my uncle is and was.
My earliest memories of him are of sharing a home with him in Yuma, AZ. As my dad's eldest brother and a co-owner of the family business (Fanciful Co.), he lived with us during some of his bachelor years. It was fun to have an uncle live with us. He would tickle us kids and tease us constantly. But best of all, every Valentine's Day, he would pass out boxes of conversation hearts. I don't know very many uncles who so consistently gave his nieces Valentine candy... This was something I looked forward to for years.
He was also the tractor man. In the three-part leadership of Fanciful Co., Unca John was in charge of the tractors, mechanics, and shop while my dad acted as harvest manager and my other uncle as business manager. Unca John showed a consistent expression of creativity by being super efficient with tools and parts and coming up with crazy ways to utilize the random scraps of metals and other materials he ended up with. Think Real Simple's "new uses for old things." He would have been a great contributor to that part of the fantastic magazine. One example that I love is his creation of lit up Christmas snowmen (in Yuma, AZ, aka the desert) out of tractor wheel wells. Even though earlier in my childhood we joked that he was a Scrooge for sleeping through parts of Christmas Day, he sure knew how to celebrate the Christmas spirit... In the desert, no less... And with quite innovative ways!
You have to understand that Unca John was a big guy who could come off a little gruff and tough at times. We always knew there was a soft side there, but that became much more visible when he met and married Aunt Micky. Not only did her lovely demeanor bring out more of his tenderness, but so did her dogs! Before too long, Unca John couldn't go anywhere without an entourage of small dogs. It started with one chihuahua and later became three different small breed dogs. With all the dog names starting with the letter "M", he soon began to sign every written correspondence to family and friends with a paw print and "3M". Minnie (who died a few years back), Maxie, Morgan and Molly are practically cousins.
On a more serious note, my sister's words have caused me to reflect on the wonderful way in which my uncle believed in people and always looked for ways to give people a chance to thrive. He has given numerous people in my family (and countless others) their first jobs. My eldest sister and brother were paid $.25/hour to chase chickens out of the crop fields when they were young. My other sister and I were paid to sort nuts, bolts and other odd parts in the shop when we were young. Other cousins were also given jobs when they needed a summer gig to put on their résumés. He also paid one sister (maybe both) and then me to clean his house for him. While I did this job, I realized how truly simple my uncle was in that his laundry literally consisted of 3 loads: plaid shirts + denim, white undershirts, etc. and towels (the suspenders didn't need washing). He was content to wear the same kind of outfit every day, for every occasion.
He never fathered any children of his own, but had several step-children, thus ushering him into the role of grandpa to many in the last several years. He was truly a deeply loving, strongly loyal, and very generous person. He was always looking for ways to make people laugh, pull pranks and keep life/work/lunch/Easter egg hunts/anything more fun. I cherish these memories of my uncle and hope to find ways to keep his life and memories treasured.
He died May 8th after having been in the hospital for about 2 months. Having needed a kidney transplant for awhile, heart surgery had become necessary to help his body be better prepared for the future transplant. It started with heart surgery in March, turned into pneumonia and then just became too much for his body to handle. We take comfort knowing that he went peacefully in the end.
Hopefully I can find some pictures to post soon.
