Randy and I are in the middle of a season filled with waiting, questions, uncertainty, anticipation and transition.
We are waiting for our daughter to be born... (Patiently, because we have plenty to do before she arrives, but with such anticipation at who this little person will turn out to be! :) We wonder if she will arrive before or after her daddy graduates from seminary. [She's due June 10; he graduates June 15.]
We are waiting to hear back from PhD programs and hospital residencies to find out what our future will look like after the summer. (Thus, where we will live, what our financial position will be, whether or not cloth diapering will be realistic, how close we will be to family/friends and so many other questions will finally be answered)
We are waiting on insurance questions and prenatal care questions to know how to proceed with caring for my body and this baby for the remainder of pregnancy.
We are waiting. We are in the process of many things. But most of these things are out of our control.
From this place, I opened my Celtic Daily Prayer book to tonight's evening prayer and I came close to tears. A few times over the past few weeks, I have waited to do my daily Celtic prayer until the evening and each time, this prayer has touched a deep place in my heart. The continual utterance of the phrase, "Today, I believe" challenges me. I want to believe. However, I find it much more difficult to believe when so many of the preceding words resonate with me in such a real way right now.
Though I am poor...
though I am weak...
though anxious of heart...
tried as I am...
though [the way] may be hidden...
though the night is here...
though you be silent now...
But our God is the God of the impossible. He is the God who knows intimately the deepest desires, needs and situations in our lives. He truly is the Sovereign over all creation and knows all things. This is what I [am trying to] rest in each day. This prayer gives words to the cries of my heart tonight. Maybe it will resonate with you also.
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