Jesus and ground cover

I've never been too fond of ground cover... until today.

On a walk where I was encouraged to give myself permission to slow down or even stop to notice God's creation, I looked down and saw ground cover -- lots and lots of ground cover. On first glance, it was like, "Oh, just a bunch of green ground cover." But then I continued to look and noticed the cutest little blue flowers... (maybe you can't even see them, but they are really there!)

And there were also little red flowers!

 

I would have not even noticed them if I had moved too quickly because the first thing I noticed was just how much GREEN I saw everywhere!

And then I realized, how often I look at life and see so much pain, struggle, death, and brokenness that I almost don't even notice the little flowers of beauty Jesus has placed in the midst of what seems overwhelmingly sad. 

Some of the beautiful flowers I see in my life right now are:

• the moments when I get to touch the pregnant bellies of two dear friends and feel the little life growing inside of them
• a chance to teach some Korean neighbor kids how to bake banana muffins
• the ridiculous laughter that my husband and I share over the most random things
• a nephew who thinks I'm a princess because he saw me in my wedding dress last year
• and reflecting with a friend on God's healing and restoration of addiction and other strongholds in her life.

Today, I'm thankful for God's creation and how it reminds me of his love and provision, even in the midst of seasons of pain and sadness. 

contemplative collages

 One of the ways I've been expressing my heart to God lately is through collaging...

What do these words mean to you?

in love there can be no fear

for the past several weeks, I have been adjusting to a new guide to my daily time with Jesus...

the first focus is on God's abounding love for me (for you, too!). it's strange that this can be such a difficult topic to sit with at times.

I found myself resonating deeply with the following statements yesterday:

"unresolved guilt always damages the capacity for love. the reason for this is that the guilty self feels that it deserves punishment. it also feels like a dangerous self. unconscious guilt makes me feel that I have to withdraw from others lest I damage them by my love. this leads to self-preoccupation, and the result is always a serious impairment of my ability to give or receive love."

I often fear punishment and sit in guilt over things I've already been forgiven of.  maybe I am afraid that God's love hasn't fully forgiven me... but, the truth is: "in love there can be no fear, but fear is driven out by perfect love: because to fear is to expect punishment, and anyone who is afraid is still imperfect in love." (1 john 4:18)

I am reflecting on this: "when Israel was a child, I loved him... but the more I called Israel, the further they went from me. they sacrificed to the Baals and they burned incense to images. it was I who taught Ephraim how to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them." (Hosea 11:1-4)


Oh, Lord, how often I do not realize that you are the one who is teaching me to walk, who heals me, who leads me and feeds me... even if I don't even realize it's you... even if it doesn't look like there is progress in any or all of these areas of my life.


what a lavish love he offers us... even wasteful... how do you feel about God offering a love so abundant that it might even be seen as wasteful?

musings on the Spirit's work...

For about a year now, I have been taking part in retreats put on by my dear friend, Kristi.  She is a fabulous woman of faith and wisdom.  I admire her for her tenacity with which she seeks God and works at "finding God in all things."  Her goal in creating these one-day reflective retreats is to offer to anyone who thirsts for it, the space to seek God in a place of beauty.  She creatively ties in a theme for the day with different ideas on how one might interact with God throughout the day -- whether by walking to the beach, journaling, painting, praying the Psalms, or even blowing bubbles.  Check out her website here: www.quietreflection.org.

As I have offered my time to the Lord over the last few several years, a gift of mine that Jesus has given me is that of hospitality.  Helping Kristi with the food and set-up for these retreats feeds my soul in a wonderful way as I get to do some baking and thoughtful planning of food to nourish the bodies that come as they feed on God's Spirit as well. It's amazing how much my heart can delight in serving Jesus through feeding the people that he loves...

But today, as I drove home from the retreat, I realized a few things...
1) that the Holy Spirit never does what I think he will (or should?) do in my own heart each time I serve at these retreats.  He always catches me off guard and I find myself realizing after the fact how timely his "curve ball" of a time it was for me...

and 2) as I listened to a recording of a directee I sat with earlier this week (recording and playback is an essential part of my training as a spiritual director), I realized how much the Spirit is at work in both me and my directee right now.  I was struck tonight by the Spirit's faithfulness in giving me "eyes to see and ears to hear" with my directee some of what he's up to in her life.  And then I realized that some of the very same revelations this sweet girl had about her journey with Jesus mirror some similar things that the Lord has been yearning to show me about my own journey.  Different circumstances and journeys, and yet the Spirit is still able to use a 45-minute session through which I am training for ministry to both minister deeply to my directee and then touch my own heart in a unique way.

What might he be stirring in your heart this week?